I always laugh when I see photo spreads of people running on sneaker sites or in commercials. They look so happy and their form is just perfect and they don’t look like they’re tired at all. I laugh because that’s the opposite of what I look like, even after ten years of running.

I’ve been running pretty regularly since about 2008. I never thought I could do it, but, at the time I was going through a really rough patch and wasn’t sleeping so well. So, one morning, frustrated that I couldn’t fall back asleep, I got up around 4, had a cup of coffee and said, ‘let’s try it.’ I didn’t make it an avenue block or two without stopping and I was pretty winded, but, kept going for several more blocks anyway. It was definitely not easy, but, I was happy that I did it. And then, I kept doing it a few days a week. I started to perfect what worked for me–I bought better shoes, stopped listening to music while running (b/c I find it distracting and really super annoying. Plus, why carry a phone or iPod when I don’t have to?), focused on my foot placement, breathing and tried to be present. I found that I didn’t think about anything or, everything when I was out. I felt clearer afterward. Tired and really sweaty, but, a bit clearer in the head. Running isn’t easy, it’s hard, it’s exhausting….and I love it. It makes me be more present in the moment. I get to be up and outside when hardly anyone else is in the early morning hours. I get to witness beautiful sunrises and squirrels running about, birds chirping at each other…I also get to feel freezing cold air in my lungs, un-shoveled running paths, cars that will try to beat the light and almost run you over in the crosswalk, and, the worst, street harassment. (The positives definitely outweigh the negatives with running, but, one has to be aware of their surroundings and always have a plan in mind if confronted with harassment or asshole drivers.)

Now, I’m no marathoner and I’ve never signed up for a race. I don’t want to compete against anyone–and this sounds cheesy—but myself. My biggest accomplishment was last summer when I finally finished the alphabet of streets in my neighborhood which was about 9 miles rt. I almost cried when I finished and then I did the Liz Lemon thing of high-fiving myself because no one else was around. My goal is to run all the way to the boardwalk at Coney Island and jump in the ocean, which is just a bit further beyond Ave. Z. I don’t wear a watch to keep track of my pace because I’m not out to beat a time. Some days I’m faster than others (I notice this when I look at my microwave clock when I get home), but not every day is a good run. I go out a few days a week and just try to be present and thankful that my feet, legs and heart are working well and allow me to run. It’s one thing that I do just for me. If you’re wondering about running and don’t think you can do it, I say just try it. Let go of your fears and get out of your self-conscious mind (easier said than done, I know!). Who knows, you might become addicted to it like I did.